Zong Zi made by my youngest daughter
“I want to learn how to make Zong Zi 粽子!” said my youngest daughter eagerly.
It was June 8th, a Sunday, just a day before the Dragon Boat Festival. In our Chinese tradition, we celebrate this festival by eating Zong Zi, sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves. It’s such a delicious treat.
“Alright, but wash your hands first.” I was midway through making my first Zong Zi of the day. I slowed my fingers and carefully unfolded the banana leaves so she could see the wrapping process.
“Wash hands — that’s what LaoYe used to remind me to do before meals,” she said with a smile.
LaoYe 姥爷 means maternal grandfather. That’s my dad. He always reminded me to wash my hands when I was little, and later, he reminded my children. I realized Father’s Day was just six days away. Making Zong Zi also reminded me of making dumplings with my dad. Both were his favorite food. I developed a love for cooking thanks to my dad’s enthusiastic praise and his passion for food.
This would be the third Father’s Day without my dad. He passed away in January 2022, making that year’s Father’s Day especially hard for me. I wept uncontrollably several times. Last year was a bit easier, partly because I was deeply engrossed in revising my book, Build Resilience. The work, which my father would have been proud of, is dedicated to him.
The first chapter after the introduction is titled “My Father’s Story.” Despite pouring so much into his stories, it still feels like not enough to express my love and gratitude for the person who influenced me the most. There are countless lessons he taught me that couldn’t fit into a whole book, let alone a single chapter.
Because of my book, people around me know that I learned resilience from my parents. They often ask if building resilience is crucial only for individuals or if it also applies to organizations. It’s a great question. While I teach individuals to become more resilient, I am also developing a course to help organizations build resilience in times of uncertainty and technological advancement. A resilient company relies on resilient leaders.
Speaking of leadership, my father exemplified the qualities of a resilient leader, both at home and in his career.
Firstly, he was a servant leader. He helped my mom around the house whenever he was home, despite frequent business trips. He was excellent at fixing things — power sockets, broken drawers, bikes. Watching him work was fascinating, and he encouraged me to join in, never believing that being a girl should limit what I could do. He even led us in cleaning the house, making it fun. He never complained about my mom’s cooking skills. During Chinese New Year celebrations, Dad would lead us in making dumplings. Most years, we celebrated without him due to his work, but I remember the few times he was home and how he diligently washed and chopped cabbages.
His servant leadership extended beyond our home to his workplace. His colleagues admired his willingness to take on tough projects and help others. At the peak of his career, he led a large team yet remained humble, always doing extra work and setting a strong example.
As a servant leader, he prioritized the needs of the team, fostering a supportive environment. The mindset helped him build strong, trust-based relationships.
Secondly, he taught me to be creative and innovative when facing challenges. I can’t count how many times I felt like giving up, but Dad always encouraged me to explore solutions. As a physics researcher, he encountered numerous obstacles and loved sharing new ideas and inventions with us at dinner. One memorable story involved using insects to help strawberries grow without fertilizers or pesticides.
“There are always failures in research. Keep experimenting, and you’ll find solutions,” he often said. “Research is like life — trial and error. Innovation comes from countless failures.”
Dad loved learning new things and believed it expanded one’s vision and fostered innovation. He enjoyed visiting museums, especially those focused on aerospace. He applied his innovative ideas at work, achieving significant milestones. He viewed obstacles as opportunities for growth and improvement. He believed in continuous improvement and learning.
Dad and Mom enjoyed studying and reading together.
Thirdly, he was an empathetic person and leader. His wisdom and kindness earned him admiration. He genuinely cared about those around him. Dad was a distinguished researcher in metallurgy physics and low-temperature superconductivity, and he spent considerable time advising and teaching others patiently.
Later, as head of human resources in his organization, he managed numerous responsibilities, including developing recruiting policies, enhancing training programs, and overseeing performance evaluations. He often welcomed team members into our home. I recall one instance where he worked late into the night to help a talented young man with an urgent relocation request for his wife.
Even in his seventies and eighties, despite health issues, he continued to help his neighbors in his senior apartment, translating for those who didn’t know English well and assisting with pharmacy calls.
His empathy stemmed from a deep sense of love. I can’t emphasize enough how much I learned from him. The greatest lesson he taught me was the power of love.
Handmade face masks crafted with love by my sister-in-law, my dad, and my mom at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, when face masks were in short supply. Many of these masks were donated to hospitals and fire departments.