Money as the Root of All Evil
“Can money bring happiness?” If you had asked me this question when I was younger, my answer would have been an unequivocal no. In fact, I might have even said, “Money is evil.”
As a child, I learned that money was the root of all sins. The movies I watched often portrayed the wealthy as greedy, merciless figures who exploited the poor. They lent money at exorbitant interest rates and ran sweatshops with no concern for their workers’ well-being. Yet, despite these negative portrayals, money was necessary for survival.
The Value of Small Luxuries
Growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, my family, like most others around us in China, had very little. Our home was sparsely furnished — just beds, a table for eating and studying, a few chairs, and a bookshelf. My mom had to sell her cherished violin to buy a baby bed for my older brother when he was born. She hoped she could replace it once she earned more money, but that dream quietly faded as she prioritized her children’s needs over her own desires.
We didn’t even have a clothes cabinet until a relative made one for us, and we cherished it as a precious item. Protein sources like eggs were a treat; pork was reserved for once-a-week meals, and good quality meat was only available during festivals due to rationing. I still remember how my mother would cook an egg each for my brother and me every morning, but she would skip hers to save money. Only later did I realize we had been eating her share all along.
If we had more money, we could have bought more food and better furniture and my mom could have bought a new violin. That would have been happiness, right?
I remember a time when my mother’s colleague borrowed 100 Yuan from her — a significant amount, as it was her reward for research achievements. He never returned it, explaining that he was in a tight financial situation. Despite this, my mother never held a grudge. I once asked her, “Why don’t you ask for the money back?” She simply said, “He has a family to take care of. We’re doing okay.” To her, happiness was a choice, not something tied to money.
This left me confused, and I often wondered how money could be both so necessary and so seemingly inconsequential at the same time.
The Financial Struggles of an Immigrant
In 1994, I came to America to pursue my dream of earning an advanced degree at UCLA. Again, money was an obstacle. Compared to many of my friends from China, I was fortunate — my family could afford my plane ticket and some initial expenses. But the steep tuition made me hesitate. That summer, I worked at a Chinese restaurant to save money, earning mostly from tips. My fellow waiters were Chinese immigrants, some of whom had been in the U.S. for a decade, saving every penny to support their families back home. I still remember one man in particular. He was meticulous about dividing tips, counting every penny. While others found his behavior amusing, I understood his dedication. He had sacrificed visits to his family to save money. For him, money could indeed buy happiness in the form of a reunion with loved ones.
Money and American Dream
In 2000, my husband and I got married, and we combined our savings into a modest $50,000 — $30,000 from him, $20,000 from me. I remember telling him, “We’re rich!” We were content. Our wedding was simple, with just 20 guests, and we chose a budget hotel for our honeymoon, preferring to save for the future. “Let’s save for a rainy day,” we often said, echoing the Chinese belief in preparing for uncertainties.
Despite having some money, we chose not to spend much, and we were happy. It taught us that happiness isn’t necessarily tied to wealth.
Then, at the end of 2001, we bought our first house. With a second child on the way, we needed a bigger home for our growing family. The house cost $400,000 — $100,000 more than the previous year. We regretted not buying earlier, but at that time, we didn’t have enough for a down payment. After finally paying the 20% down payment, our bank account was nearly empty. We didn’t have enough money to buy new furniture or curtains. I remember saying to my husband, “Let’s just stick with our old furniture for now.” We even decided to install the blinds ourselves instead of paying the $800 installation fee to Home Depot. That saving of $800 made us happy.
Moving into our new home, watching our one-year old daughter run around, we felt that our American dream had come true. I often wondered, “Would we have been happier with an extra $5,000 to buy new furniture?” Perhaps, but I wasn’t sure.
Raising Frugal Children
Our children have learned to be frugal, a value we’ve instilled in them from an early age. I recall a time when my sixteen-year old daughter, who was on a summer exchange program in Spain, called me about her broken sandal.
“Mom, my sandal’s clip is broken,” she said, her voice tinged with frustration.
“Buy a new pair,” I replied, thinking it would be the simplest solution.
“But it’s too expensive — over 80 Euros for a plain pair!” she protested.
I chuckled and said, “Poor family, rich road（穷家富路）. Don’t be too stingy. Use my credit card — it’s on me.”
There was a pause on the other end, and then she said, “Are you sure, Mom? It just feels like a waste for something so simple.”
I could sense her hesitation, so I reassured her, “Yes, I’m sure. But remember, it’s up to you. If you think it’s worth fixing, that’s fine too.”
The next day, I texted her, asking what she had decided. When she didn’t respond immediately, I wondered if she had gone ahead and bought the new sandals. Later, she sent me a picture of her old sandals with a circle around the repaired clip.
“Look! I fixed it with stitches,” she texted, adding a smiley face.
“You sewed it yourself?” I asked, impressed.
“Yep. I bought a needle and thread from a convenience store. It only cost 1 Euro,” she replied, her pride evident. “I didn’t know how to say it in Spanish, so I had to look up the words before asking the sales clerk.”
I could almost hear her giggling as she continued, “I’m so glad I didn’t spend the 80 Euros!”
Her resourcefulness made her happy, and it made me proud.
She had the money but chose not to spend it. Those sandals lasted her two more summers, and she was proud of her choice.
If you ask me whether money can buy happiness, I’d say the two aren’t directly related. In some situations, money can buy happiness, but only if spent wisely. True happiness comes from within. For me, happiness is seeing my children embrace our family values — knowing the difference between needs and wants, and choosing to be frugal.
Money CAN Bring Happiness.
As a coach, I guide people in pursuing their dreams, whether in career advancement or life happiness. Many of my clients struggle with money, seeing it as both the key to success and their biggest obstacle. In my coaching, I emphasize the importance of using money wisely — whether through careful budgeting, smart investments, or creating wealth for their families. I chose to write this article to address the complex relationship between wealth and happiness because money is indeed a significant part of success and the American dream. When managed properly, money can bring feelings of safety, freedom, fulfillment, and abundance. It isn’t inherently evil — as long as it’s spent and invested smartly.
Yes, money could have bought my mom a new violin, but instead, she chose to sing and find joy through her voice. She immersed herself in the happiness of watching us grow, realizing that true contentment came from within, not from wealth. For her, happiness wasn’t something money could buy — it was something she nurtured from within.
I watched my parents donate to their favorite charities, and I do the same, with my children now watching and learning from me. Giving away money can indeed create happiness. So, if you ask me if money can bring happiness, in this case, yes, it can.
Now, after 30 years of living in the U.S., I’ve achieved financial independence and have dedicated myself to coaching others on pursuit success and effective money management. I’ve learned that money can bring happiness, especially when it’s used to support meaningful causes through donations and volunteering. Additionally, I’ve realized that financial independence allows me to pursue my passions, hobbies, and interests without restraint. I’m excited to share my journey to financial independence at the age of 50, and I invite you to join me in my next article in September where I’ll delve deeper into this topic. Let me know if you’d like to hear more!
